I was taught that the only reason God saw me as beautiful was because I was wearing a “Jesus Robe” (because I had recited “the sinners’ prayer”), and because of this–God didn’t see me, only Jesus.

That meant underneath this “Robe,” I was an unworthy, unholy, dirty sinner … and if for whatever reason I removed the Robe, God’s furious wrath would remain laser-focused on me. Further, my CORE IDENTITY before God was that I was a rotten sinner, deserving of endless horrific torture–if I wasn’t wearing the Robe. 

It shouldn’t be surprising that this core identity naturally reinforces thoughts and feelings of fear, shame, insecurity, and inadequacy. Like many around me, I learned to wear masks that kept people from seeing what I REALLY believed about myself. The most convincing mask was “Mainstream Christianity” – wearing a royal robe worn by all the insiders, which covered up our true, sinful identity.

I finally found the courage and vulnerability to question this foundational premise. 

I’m so glad I did.

Underneath my “Robe” I finally discovered my Authentic Self, the deep part of me that bore the Divine Image, beautiful and unique and stunning beyond words. God had fashioned me in Their own image and likeness, and my Core Identity was that I was loved eternally, relentlessly, unconditionally–even before the worlds were formed. 

NOTHING I could do or say or wear had the power to change this!!

To this insecure shell of a man, always afraid and ashamed underneath, this was mask-shattering life-altering Good News.

I’m now able to say with other-worldly confidence, grateful and awestruck like a child on Christmas Morning:

I AM 

ᴀ ᴜɴɪQᴜᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴄᴇꜱꜱᴀʀʏ

ҽxρɾҽʂʂισɳ σϝ ƚԋҽ Dιʋιɳҽ, ιɳ α ραƈƙαɠҽ ƈαʅʅҽԃ “Mҽ.”

I’m so excited, I’ll say it again!! This is my Core Identity:

𝗜 𝗔𝗠 

𝗮 U𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 N𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗿𝘆 

𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗲, 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 “𝗠𝗲.”

Maybe this “Robe” was never meant to HIDE our sin like I was taught, but rather to signify and amplify our eternal, royal standing as Sons and Daughters of God, Source of All!!

I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness. I am like a bridegroom dressed for his wedding or a bride with her jewels.

– Isaiah 61:10

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