They’re out there.

Young men, traveling in pairs, dressed like waiters. Black shoes and socks, black pants, white button-down shirt, and a skinny black tie. Black jacket or windbreaker, depending upon the weather. Clean cut and clean shaven, although I doubt a steel blade had ever been scraped across their faces due to their youth (though they call themselves “Elders”). In all outward appearances they appear pleasant and harmless, sincere even, yet they exist to deceive as they have been deceived.

They appeared at my doorstep not too long ago. They come by every few years, a different pair each time. I was asked by one of them if I was interested about learning about the “…restored gospel of Jesus Christ.” Although I was not in the best of moods that afternoon, due to some other matters I was dealing with, I told them that I had no idea there was “…another gospel,” and I would love to learn more.

That was my first mistake of many that day. I should have realized that since I was already in a bad mood, my best course of action would have been to ask them to come back another time. My second mistake was in being disingenuous when I told them that I would be interested in hearing this other gospel; after all, Paul clearly warned us twice in the first chapter of his letter to the community at Galatia about folks bringing another gospel, and I knew full well that these young men were missionaries from “The Jesus Christ Church of Latter Day Saints” a.k.a the Mormons. My third mistake was that I intentionally used this as an opportunity to trap these young men, as I have studied their organization extensively, and am familiar with their teachings and their history, perhaps even more so than they were.

For those who are unfamiliar with these folks, the Mormons are a group of people who believe that in 1820, during the Second Great Awakening, a young man called Joseph Smith received visitations from an alleged angel who told him that all the other churches were corrupt and apostate. He also claimed to have visions of not only God Almighty Himself, along with Jesus Christ (who still had his wounds) and John the Baptist (who somehow no longer had his wounds and got his head back) and was instructed that the long lost tribes of Israel came to North America, built several incredible and glorious civilizations which crashed and burned, the record of such were written in “reformed Egyptian” on gold plates, bound together in a book, and were buried nearby.

Smith retrieved these gold plates, translated them with the use of a hat and a “seeing stone,” and then the book was taken to heaven, never to be seen again. In subsequent years, Smith also produced, “The Doctrines and Covenants,” and “Pearl of Great Price.”  These two works are the primary source for Mormon theology. In these we learn that you cannot get into heaven without the approval of Smith, the wearing of sacred underwear (a type of Hebrew prayer Shawl, the Tallit) known as “Temple Garments,” and a secret handshake are necessary to enter into heaven as well. We also learn that Jesus and Satan are brothers, and the Father liked Jesus more than his brother, so Satan was disinherited. Furthermore, we also learn that Father (and Jesus) was once a mere mortal man just like us, who happened to live on the planet Kolob, and He worked really hard, became a God, and got his own planet to rule over (Earth) . . . AND if we work really hard too, we can become Gods ourselves, and get our own planets to run as we see fit.

But I digress…

As these young men went on with their spiel, with much of the above omitted, I asked questions. Some of these were nice, fluffy, easy, softball questions; some were difficult. It became easy to see that they were annoyed that I was interrupting their scripted monologue which ended with Smith dying a martyr’s death “…as a lamb led to the slaughter.”

The real saga of Joseph Smith ends when after setting up his own autonomous colony within the State of Illinois, establishing his own private army, printing his own currency, ruling by decree, setting up his own judicial system where he handpicked juries and was both prosecutor and judge, and took multiple wives, many of whom were already married to members of his congregation . . . eventually some folks decided that enough was enough and opened a newspaper exposing this stuff. Smith then ordered his army to raid the paper, burn the office, destroy the press, and arrest the publisher and the reporters.

This didn’t sit too well with the Governor of Illinois, who sent a detachment to arrest Smith. When Smith got wind of what was coming, he hightailed it across the Mississippi River into Missouri, but eventually came back into Illinois, was arrested, imprisoned to await trial, and died in a jailbreak attempt shooting a guard with a smuggled pistol.

When I challenged the young man on his “…like a sheep to the slaughter…” statement with the historical data, I was challenged back. “Where did you hear this?” I told him from the eyewitness account of John Tyler, who was locked in the jail cell with Smith. I was then asked who Tyler was. I told the young man that John Tyler was, at the time an “apostle” of your church, a member of “The Quorum of the 12”, and later became the prophet and president of the Mormon Church. The young man became flustered and demanded to know where I read this. “The Comprehensive History of The Jesus Christ Church of Latter-Day Saints.” This didn’t go over too well with him as his face reddened and demanded that I tell him who the publisher of that was. “Deseret Press, from Salt Lake City Utah,” I responded, the same folks who publish that Book of Mormon in your hand, and those “Ensign” magazines you have in your bag. He looked at the Tile Page of his Book Of Mormon, and then at the publisher’s statement in his magazine.

His face went from bright red to ghostly pale. His breathing became deep, slow, and steady. His neck set into his shoulders as his eyebrows furrowed. “May I read a scripture from the Book of Mormon” he asked. “Go right ahead” I told him. He then found a quote that accused “unbelievers” being agents of satan. I then asked him if he was familiar with John 3 :16. He said “no” but his companion, who was largely silent until now, said that he had heard of it. I asked him to quote it, but he couldn’t, so I asked him to read it, which he did:

 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16, Joseph Smith Version, Deseret Press, Salt Lake City)

“Yes” that is exactly what it says, and you guys are here on my doorstep to share Jesus’s work of proclaiming Father’s love, right?

Both he and his companion agreed with me.

I then asked him about John 3:17. He said he had no idea what I meant. I explained that after John 3:16 comes John 3:17, and is the continuation of what Jesus said about the matter, and I asked the first guy to look it up and read it, and he did:

“For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.” (John 3:17 Joseph Smith Version, Deseret Press, Salt Lake City)

“Ok,” I said, “Do youse guys believe that to be true?” They both affirmed that to be “gospel truth.”

“So, you both tell me that you are here to do the work of Jesus, to proclaim God’s love and not condemn, yet you just condemned me as being an agent of satan. Who are you really working for?”

Needless to say, things became very interesting after that. I nearly had to physically remove them from my property.

Not one of my best moments.

As I said earlier, I was already in a bad mood, and should have asked them to come back later. And as I also said, I entered in the conversation in a disingenuous manner, and used it as an opportunity to “trap” these young men.

I was being the very “Heresy Hunter” I so often complain about

Who’s the one looking to condemn? In this case, that would be me. I set those kids up. Sure, I was factually correct, doctrinally correct, and theologically correct; but all that counts for NOTHING, as I did not have the Love of God in my heart for those two young men. If I had done things differently, those two guys may have been rescued from a demonic system, but all I accomplished was being another “Jerk for Jesus.”

But I wasn’t done being a jerk yet.

Not content to leave well enough alone, I decided that the local leadership of that organization needed to be aware that their Elders are going around from house to house, knocking on peoples’ doors, and telling the community that they are agents of satan. In other words, my new mission was to rat out these kids who I had entrapped.

So much for John 13:35:

“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” (John 13:35, Joseph Smith Translation, Deseret Press, Salt Lake City)

Not one of my best moments.

I hopped in my car and made the short drive to their congregation’s building. The parking lot was empty, but the building was wide open. I entered the building, calling out “hello, hello” as I meandered through the halls, finding nobody except a man who was hired to come in and tune the piano who told me he had no idea where anybody was. I breathed a sad sigh and left the building.

As I was about to leave the parking lot, a car with out of state plates pulled in. I asked the people in the car if they were members of this congregation. “No” they told me, “We’re from out of town, but we have a seasonal rental and we’re trying to find a church around here.”  At this point I decided to let this family know all the reasons they needed to avoid this place.

Again, not one of my best moments.

After I got done ranting and raving, stomping and stammering, and vehemently vilifying, I seen the look of shock and dismay on their faces when they learned the history and current beliefs of the folks who owned this property. I then asked them what sort of church (Liturgical, Evangelical, Pentecostal, Independent, etc.) they were looking for. 

As it turned out, this family, a dad, grandfather, mom, and adult son were looking for a Spirit-filled church where their son, a recent Teen Challenge graduate, could attend while in town. Being a Teen Challenge Graduate myself, I gave a quick testimony, and then invited them to a friend’s house, where we were meeting as a home church that very evening!

Later that evening, not only did the young man show up, but he brought his mom with him. More importantly, Holy Spirit showed up as well (as if He isn’t always here in the first place), and Earth was once again invaded by Heaven. The young man and his mom had a splendid time, and asked to come back for the next meeting, which I’m sure they will.

 

So yeah,

It was not one of my best days.

But that’s OK. Despite my stoopidity (yes, there are two O’s in this for a reason: it’s a special kind of stoopid), Papa had no problem turning things around for His Glory. 

Consider this:

Do we actually believe that our own actions, or lack of actions, plans, intents, behaviors can actually change, alter, disrupt, cancel, negate, or destroy Papa’s plans and purposes? Do we think we are bigger than El Shaddai?

“But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” (Genesis 50:20, Joseph Smith Translation, Deseret Press, Salt Lake City)

Papa had a plan. He wanted His Ekklesia, His Church, to come together and grow. He wanted that family to avoid a snare of false faith, and He did it despite my nonsense.

More importantly, on a personal level, I was schooled by Papa. When He showed me what happened, what I had done, it was like a gut punch at first, but once I realized that the pain was my own reaction to my actions, and not pain inflicted by a Father who loves me, everything changed.

We often read about how Father only disciplines and chastises us because he loves us and wants the best for us . . . but how often do we experience this without freaking out about it?

Sometimes “things happen” because that’s the nature of “things.”  Sometimes “things happen” because of the actions of others, or the circumstances we create for ourselves.

But NEVER do “things happen” because Papa is punishing us. He’s not about punishing us at all.

If it were about Papa punishing us, what’s the point of Jesus’ work on the cross?

Did Jesus take the entirety of our garbage to the cross, and leave it in the grave, or did he bring it out of the grave and hand it back to us? I don’t think so.

Were we not crucified with Christ, buried with Christ, risen with Christ, and are now seated in heavenly places with Christ? (Go read Paul’s letters again)

If Papa is still punishing us, still judging us in the here and now, the suffering of Jesus on the cross was just an exercise in cruelty, child abuse of His only begotten Son even.

I’m not buying that.

Papa disciplines us for our own good. After all, if you see a toddler about to stick a fork in an electrical outlet, would you not slap it from the baby’s hand, even though the child may cry a bit?

He’s not about punishing us. He’s about protecting us, sometimes from ourselves, or each other. He’s about teaching us, He’s about maturing us, He’s about preparing us to be his Bride.

 

So yeah,

Despite my own actions, it actually was one of My Best Days.

Thanks for letting me take up some of your time.