In Luke 15, Jesus gives us a story of a father and his two lost sons. Outside of the cross, it may be the clearest representation of the character of God that we have. Here we find…
A wayward son.
Lost in the world.
For most of us, easy to identify with.
A dutiful (yet angry son).
Lost at home.
For most of us, not so easy to admit we identify with.
And a loving, welcoming, prodigal father.
Someone our minds have a very hard time coming to grips with the reality of. It’s too good to be true.
There is something here that gets left unsaid though. You see, we never get to find out what happened the next day. What happened the following weeks? Months? Years? I often wonder, ‘What happened after the party?’ (For the sake of this article, from here on out, I am only really referencing the younger brother.)
What happens when:
The music stops.
All the food has been cleaned up.
The hangovers are slept off.
“There is joy in heaven over one sinner who repents,” quips Jesus in a related passage. Assuredly there is.
And yet, the next day…
The party is over, right?
Well, the guests have left.
The house is empty.
And we awake, in a stupor.
Was that real?
Like really real?
Dad wasn’t…
Angry?
Disappointed?
Really?
I mean, at first I guess it’s possible he was so happy I wasn’t dead, I could somewhat understand the reaction.
Maybe that happiness will carry into the next day?
Maybe.
Maybe not?
Then reality sets in.
At least in my reality, I have to start figuring out how to make this up to him. I cannot mess up again.
He gave me a second chance:
If I botch this, what’s to stop him from kicking me out of the house?
It’s easy to see where we come up with this mindset.
And it makes sense.
The Old Testament is littered with this kind of thinking.
With this understanding of God.
There are good kings.
Bad kings.
Judges.
Prophets
Judgments.
Holiness.
Unholiness.
Uh oh, here come the Babylonians!
Whoops we did it again: here come the Assyrians!
I’d like to contend that the Pharisees of the New Testament, whom we often deem as the bad guys in the story, are maybe a little more relatable than we give them credit. After all, they are simply just trying to stay within the lines.
They have the house rules.
They’ve seen and studied what happens when the rules of the house aren’t obeyed. They don’t want to get kicked out.
They don’t want judgment brought upon themselves or the people they love and watch over.
We can relate to this.
Because we do it too.
Most of our behavior is dictated by this.
And it makes sense:
At the end of the day, after the party, after we’ve been welcomed home, we just don’t want to get kicked out of the house . . .
Since my initial conversion some 20 years ago, I’ve been through a lot of Christian phases. Most of them though, have been dominated by the same internal driver:
Fear.
It makes sense.
There’s rules to this Christian thing right?
Paul said so.
The OT says so.
What do I do?
How do I not get kicked out of the house?
Fast forward some 20 years later.
Oddly, I find myself in a similar life place as my early twenties.
Only this time, instead of the good ol’ fashioned rebellious sin life, my bad behavior is from years of being beaten down by loneliness, monotony, and emptiness.
But the results are the same.
Coping.
Addiction.
Pain management.
Alcoholism.
Sex.
Gluttony / food abuse.
Name it.
I don’t get it.
All I have done is live my life and do my best to try to not get kicked out of the house. This doesn’t make any sense.
How did I end up here??
Again.
What happens when the party ends?
Cause I’m lost.
Again.
I was supposed to be home.
What happened?
As with most things in my life, the answer came from the oddest of places.
The Menzingers.
Yep.
The Menzingers.
Look them up.
Pretty awesome band.
With some pretty awesome albums
And a pretty awesomely titled song…
After the Party
With a pretty awesome line:
‘After the party, it’s me and you.’
After the party
It’s Me and You
After the guests have left
The food has been cleaned up
The hangovers slept off
After all of it,
It’s Me and You
I can see this in my mind’s eye…
A clear mental picture:
It’s trust . . . in His character, which you already know to be true.
It’s trust.
Instead of fear.
Instead of mistrust.
Trust . . . in our acceptance.
Period.
Brennan Manning put it this way:
“The decisive (or what I call the second) conversion from mistrust to trust—a conversion that must be renewed daily—is the moment of sovereign deliverance from the warehouse of worry. So life-changing is this ultimate act of confidence in the acceptance of Jesus Christ that it can properly be called the hour of salvation.” – Ruthless Trust
I have met the bible.
A lot of Christians have.
And it has left them riddled with fear and mistrust.
Self-hatred and emptiness.
Unchanged,
Caged,
Not knowing when or where they will be summarily escorted from the house.
And so, after all I have done.
And done again and again.
The stupidity and selfishness…
I somehow no longer fear being sent away.
Somehow I am not operating out of a place of fear.
Because meeting the Word is something altogether different.
Admittedly, I’m treading here in waters that I am uncertain of. I am new to this.
It’s hard to leave the warehouse of worry.
But the picture remains in my mind.
The Menzingers.
And
It’s the next day, after the party,
And my dad is looking me in the eye,
“You don’t have to be afraid. It’s me and you.”