We live in a world where acting like an older brother (standing outside in judgment toward the younger brother who is partying with the Father) can appear as wisdom. Let me explain…

“People want to make the gospel all about themselves these days.” 

“All these new worship songs are all about me, me, me.” 

“What about God? Isn’t it all about Him and His glory?” 

These are things I hear on a regular basis, living and working in the world of the American church–and to a degree, I agree with each one of them. But I also feel a check from the Holy Spirit about this kind of attitude. Wasn’t one of the central things Jesus accomplished the restoration of our dignity, value, and worth, as well as giving back to us a glorious purpose? 

Didn’t Jesus call each of his twelve disciples by name and show them an unconditional love they’d never experienced before? Didn’t Paul boldly claim, “Christ loved ME and gave himself for ME” (Galatians 2:20). Is there any other way to live out the gospel other than accepting the reality that Jesus DID in fact make it all about you? Isn’t love completely focused on the object of its affection? 

How can we possibly love God back and love people and fulfill the Great Commission without knowing that God made it all about me, sending his Son to die on a cross for ME? We love because he first loved us, right (1 John 4:19)? God DID make it all about me. 

Is it possible to become selfish? Yes. Would it be wrong to discover all your sins are forgiven and then hold onto unforgiveness toward others? Yes, Jesus warns about this. There ARE warnings about selfishness in the Bible and it IS a reality where we need to bring correction. 

But….

Let’s not confuse selfishness with people who are still discovering how much Jesus loves them. Give me the drug addict who is waking up to how much Jesus loves them versus the religious person who is sitting around talking about how selfish other Christians are. 

When the Father threw a party upon the lost son’s return, the party was in fact FOR THE LOST SON. The party was about him a for him. It was a celebration of his return (Luke 15:32). The older brother in the story, however, stood outside the party, critiquing what was happening. Most likely, he was offended by the wild celebration of it all. The robe, the ring, the kiss, the hug, the sandals, the fattened calf, the music and dancing! The Father was making it all about his younger brother, who didn’t deserve any of it. It was an extreme display of the Father’s grace. But that wasn’t supposed to take away from how much the Father loved the older brother, too. 

I don’t know about you, but I’ve made up my mind that I’m going to lean into the Father’s celebration of people. The Father makes it all about people. He celebrates them in every way. They are the prize of his entire creation. I’ve decided that I’m not going to be outside the party. I’m not going to have that older brother attitude. 

Here’s what theologian N.T. Wright has to say in his book Simply Good News: “If the good news really is what it says, there is all the room in the world for delighted celebration of the gospel in the life of every child, woman, and man. To miss this element – to think of Christianity without this deeply personal aspect – is like turning up at your own birthday party to find everyone having a great time but nobody getting around to wishing you a happy birthday. The good news, as applied to every single person, is indeed a birthday party – a birthday party for the new creation, to which you and I are invited so it can be our birthday party too.” (Simply Good News, 120)

And let’s not rush out of that party either.

Yes, there’s also a word for those who are choosing to be a more patient older brother, who are really just waiting for the party to end so they can put the younger brother to work. That doesn’t sit right with the gospel either. We never graduate from the joy and celebration of the love and forgiveness of God. Paul rejoiced in the Lord always all the days of his life (Philippians 4:4). 

Get IN the party where you belong. The Father wants everyone to celebrate how much he loves us. That’s the kind of celebration that motivates us to love others and give our lives away and, yes, do lots of good works. This celebration is the real cure to selfishness, actually. And sure, if while you’re at the party and your younger brother starts getting sloppy and knocks over one of your mom’s lamps, yes, feel free to correct him and show him where the dance floor is.

In fact, get on there with him and dosey doe.