I have started and stopped this article more times than I can count. In thinking about what to share, I have wanted it to be full of wisdom. I have wanted it to be right. Relevant to your growth and faith. Earth shattering and powerful. A deep understanding that would aid our journey. To help set us free.
But It turns out, I honestly just don’t have much to say anymore.
My entire journey of faith has been about theology. About delving into a deeper understanding of God. And my approach has always been about using My reason, My mind and My understanding to unravel these truths. To know God by knowing more about God.
My entire journey I’ve been asking to know more about what’s ahead. I have so many questions. So many. And they are important ones. Life questions. Faith questions. There is so much that doesn’t make sense. I want to see before I step. I need to. There’s too much at stake.
Enter I Corinthians 1:18-25…
18 For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written,
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
And the cleverness of the clever I will set aside.”
20 Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21 For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God, God was well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. 22 For indeed Jews ask for signs and Greeks search for wisdom; 23 but we preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness, 24 but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
Wait what?
Lately I’ve found that no matter how hard I think. Or seek. Or question. Or try.
I can’t escape this call to His Wisdom.
His Wisdom calls me to foolish childlike thinking. Seriously. Childlike thinking. (Right now, I highly recommend The Pout-Pout Fish by Deborah Diesen. You can listen to it here.)
His Wisdom calls me to the narrowest of paths, foolish trust and foolish faith.
His Wisdom shames mine.
I have come to realize that for many years, what I have been really after, is my smile. My deep smile of Joy. I find that I have wanted to smile for so long. To smile in my faith. My wisdom & understanding have not allowed this. My seeking and unanswered questions have not allowed this. My constant clamoring for more instead of less has not allowed this.
But oh His Wisdom. The goodness of His Wisdom.
Because, after all, His Wisdom, is Christ crucified.
And Christ crucified shames my need to know mentality. It shames the dead weight corpse of sin-understanding I drag needlessly around. It shames the unapproachable, unknowable god that I have to know by knowing. It shames my need to check my spiritual temperature. To understand before I know. To feel safe before I step. To not take risks.
I stumble over this. Stub my toe. Trip and fall.
It is nonsense. It is foolishness. Because God has purposed it so.
It is His Wisdom. It bears strength. And it makes me smile.